If you think you are in love with two people, you love neither enough
by FaithyLehane
Summary: Alison is alive but how does this affect Emily. Is Paige and Emily's relationship strong enough or will Emily run back to Alison.
1. Chapter 1

Alison DiLaurentis had always been the girl of her dreams, her first love and the one Emily was never able to forget. The night Maya told her they had found Alison's body, her life, her feelings they had never been the same. Since that day Emily knew she had to force herself to move on from Alison and the feelings she had for her best friend but despite the years had passed and the multiple girlfriends she had, there always seemed to be a part missing. Emily had always known that the part she was missing was Alison. What Emily did question though was if this was because she never had any closure, with the angry letter she wanted to send Alison in the back of her mind or because a first love never really went away. That was also the very thing she questioned when she saw Alison's beautiful face when she revealed herself to the four liars.

Emily had been insanely happy to find out Alison was still alive but it made her question her feelings as well and not just the ones about Alison also the ones she had for Paige. Paige had been good to her and for a moment she had really believed she had completely moved on from Alison and wanted to built a life with Paige, yet now with Alison alive Emily couldn't help but question her feelings. "God what am I even doing, Alison is never going to love me back like that... the girl is on the running for her life so to speak, her romantic feelings for anyone are the last things that are on her mind." Emily thought as she let out a deep frustrated sigh and pulled out her phone.

"Mom is out, wanna watch a movie tonight?" Emily texted Paige, she had not seen her all weekend since with everything that had been going on with Alison and A. It was only right she spend some time with her girlfriend and hopefully take her mind of Alison as well. After a minute Emily heard her phone vibrate on her night stand and picked it up, smiling a little when she read the text from Paige. "See you in a bit X." Emily went downstairs and took a few horror movies, her favorite genre before walking into the kitchen and made some popcorn they could eat while watching the movie.

It only took a few minutes before Emily heard the door bell ring and walked to the front door to open, seeing Paige who seemed eager to spend the evening with her and gave her a peck on the lips but Emily didn't let go that easily. Emily placed her hands on Paige's waist and deepened the kiss, tracing her tongue along Paige's lower lip as she asked entrance. Paige eagerly opened her mouth and felt Emily's tongue slip into her mouth and let their tongues fight for dominance till breathing became an issue. "Wow... I could get used to you saying hello like that." Paige spoken with a smile spreading on her face, she was clearly loving this.

"Yeah... I just missed you, I haven't seen in a few days. We shouldn't let that happen again."

Emily turned around as she spoken the words, guilt written all over her face but was it really guilt for being too busy to seeing Paige or guilt because even when she kissed Paige that still somewhere in the back of her mind Alison was still in her thoughts. Shaking her head quickly but lightly, Emily gestured with her hand to the living room. "I made popcorn." Emily spoken a little too fast and that didn't go unnoticed by Paige who only could frown at Emily's behavior, she had loved the kiss but something obviously was off with Emily.

As they sat together on the couch, Paige slowly moved her arm around Emily and pulled her close to her and Emily responded by snuggling into her girlfriend. Paige placed a soft kiss on the top of Emily's head when Emily could hear her phone buzzing and reached for it while Paige was still calmly watching the movie and eating some of the popcorn that Emily had made.

"If you think you are in love with two people, you love neither enough. -A" Emily's eyes widen and as she stared at the words till the screen went black. "A knows Alison is alive, fuck how can A even know this." Emily thought, unaware of a pair of eyes watching her in concern. "Em what is going on?" Came Paige's soft voice full with concern her girlfriend as she stared directly in Emily's eyes, getting uneasy with how her girlfriend was behaving this night and the previous days she had almost brushed her off, every time she had wanted to speak to Emily. "Nothing just you know A being A... oh look at that, I'll get us a refill." Emily spoken rushed as she got up from the couch and took the two glasses before almost running off into the kitchen.

Paige sighed slowly as she glanced on the phone that laid beside her one the couch and bit down on her lower lip, could she really invade Emily's privacy like that? but then again whatever was on that phone, whatever message A had sent this time, really had girlfriend freaked out. Paige reached out to grab Emily's phone but stopped right before her fingers touched it, her hand slightly trembling before throwing one quick glance to kitchen and quickly grabbed the phone.  
Unshed tears where forming in Paige's eyes as she starred at the screen, reading the words over and over again till she was taken out of her trance by someone tearing the phone out of her eyes. "That is private!" Emily nearly yelled at Paige. "This is not happening... oh god.. this is NOT happening." Emily thought as the hurt was evident on her girlfriends face. "I was worried about you! So who is she Em?!" Paige raised her voice as well, a slight crack in her voice as she stood up and stood infront of Emily. "No one! There is no one, it's just A being A.. god are you really going to believe A over me!?" Emily spoke angrily as she studied Paige's face, trying to find clues whether Paige believed her or not. "But it's not, is it! If it was just A being A you wouldn't be freaking out like this."

Paige bit down on her lower lip as she turned around and ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to calm herself down even with her heart breaking in a thousand pieces right now. Emily took a deep breath as the guilt was starting to catch up with her, she couldn't lie the Paige, she always had been there for her, always had been great but despite she could not tell Paige that Alison was alive.. at least she could be as honest as she could be and spoken in a soft tone. "It freaked me out because last night I was looking at a picture of Alison and me... the fact that A continues to watch us at our homes freaks me out, you can't blame me for that babe." Emily tried.

Paige turned and shook her head, anger and pain being evident on her face. "No I can't blame you for that but I can blame you for still always having to compete with Alison." Paige chuckled softly but she was far from amused, it was bitter. "Do you know what that feels like? Always having to compete... competing with a fucking dead chick Emily!" Emily slowly took a step closer, in hope to for Paige to let her in, to calm her down while she spoke in a soft voice. "Paige..." Paige took a few steps back and grabbed her back. "No! You do not get to Paige me. I love you, okay? Is that so bad? I love you and she doesn't- she never did. Yet, you love her and not me. What's wrong with this picture?"

Tears where now streaming down Paige's face as she looked at the girl she loved but now doubted that would ever love her back in the same way and by the way Emily stayed silent was only conformation that this could very well be the end of them. Alison DiLaurentis had won yet again.


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is the second chapter.  
At first I was not completly sure if this was going to be a full fledged Emison story but I have to admit since in my expierence with the Paily shippers being less then pleasent because I ship Emison personally more then Paily, the idea of this could be going two ways is over and it will be Emison all the way.  
My mellow was killed, man.  
**

**So here goes and enjoy:**

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"Meet me at our spot. 20 minutes."

Emily frowned as she read the message from an unknown number out loud while sitting down on her bed, still not getting last night out of her head. Looking back at last night, how she acted and how she had hurt Paige's feelings, Emily couldn't help but feel extremely bad for her actions. She should have never freaked out like that, she shouldn't of yelled at Paige for caring even if Paige crossed a line. Emily had crossed a bigger one, the real question on her mind was: Why did she allow herself to cross that line.

"Alison." Emily spoken under her breath, this had to be Alison wanting to meet her and the brunette was more then ready, she needed to figure all these feelings out and what they meant but more importantly, she needed to know who A was. If they where able to stop A then maybe everything could go back to normal or as normal as it could possibly be for her, the liars and the others involved who where still breathing and walking.

It had taken Emily only fifteen minutes to get to their 'spot' and sat down on the rock, full with graffiti and other things people wrote on it when they came to visit the kissing rock, Emily checked her phone to see what time it was, only five more minutes before Alison would arrive. _'This is just about A... this has nothing to do with what happened three years ago.' _

-Flashback-

"So you never told me who you wanted to take there." Alison spoke with a mischievous grin on her face as she watched Emily closely. "So who is the lucky one Em?"

Emily ducked her head and looked at the ground as they walked side by side in the forest. "No one." Emily spoke in a voice so soft Alison barely heard her.

"Are you sure? I think I know who you want to take there." Alison gave the brunette a wink before she walked ahead, leaving Emily with a heavy blush and looked the other way as she walked behind Alison, hating how Alison sometimes teased her about her secret.

Only a minute later Alison stood next to the rock and gave Emily a smirk as she gestured with her hand to come closer which completely confused Emily. "What are we doing here?" Emily questioned her best friend but some hope was hidden in her voice_. 'Oh my god, would Alison take me here.. she made it clear in the locker rooms she wasn't into girls...maybe-'_

Emily was soon pulled out of her thoughts when Alison grabbed her hand and pulled her towards her, leaving only a small distance between their bodies, much to Emily's excitement but soon was shattered by Alison's next words. "Practice makes perfect."

Alison slowly leaned in and pressed her soft pink lips against Emily's, slowly moving their lips in rhythm with one another as hands slowly found their places on each others body's, keeping one another close but even if Emily was unable to ressist Alison, those words still haunted her. "Practice makes perfect."

-Present time-

Emily shook the memory from her mind as she looked ahead of her, she was not that same timid girl who was unable to stand up to her best friend, she was stronger now and she sure as hell wouldn't Alison ever play her like that again besides she did have Paige even if they where not at very good terms with each other after last night. That did mean she could just let Alison be Alison.

"You came." A strong confident yet gentle voice said behind her and quickly turned around. "Alison." Emily stated as she looked the girl over and could see that she barely had changed when it came to her appearance but still there was something completely different; Alison actually seemed more genuine.

"Ofcourse I came.. we need to know who A so we can stop this bitch before anyone else winds up dead." Emily spoken as she stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, facing Alison.

Alison raised her left eyebrow slightly as slowly her eyes wandered down to Emily's arms that where crossed over her chest and then looked back at her eyes. "I never thought out of the four of you, you would be the strongest of them all." Alison spoke calmly as a tiny smile started to form on her face while walking closer to Emily and sat down on the rock. "Sit." Alison spoke as she patted her hand on the spot beside her.

Emily silently obeyed and sat down next to Alison and tilted her head to the side to look at her best friend. "Nearly getting killed three times does that to you I guess." Emily placed her hands on either side of herself as she smiled a little at the blonde. "Thanks for saving me two out of those times."

"I had too, no matter how dangerous it was to come back. You always have been my favorite Em." Alison spoken as she placed her hand beside Emily's and placed her pinky over Emily's, locking them together. It was only a small gesture but Alison hoped that it was enough to let her best friend know that their moments had been real for her too even if she was still not completely sure what they really meant.

'_This is wrong... even if it does not mean anything to Alison, this is wrong.. I can't do this but it is so nice to be able to touch her after all these years... or year and a half if you count the near dead experience in the barn..and that kiss.. god I can't be thinking about that kiss.. I have Paige and Paige does not deserve this.' _But despite Emily's thoughts she did not remove her hand and simply looked at Alison as she continued the conversation.

"Who are you running from Ali?" Emily asked as her face became more serious, she needed the answers and with Alison having confirmed that she knew who A was back at the barn she nearly got killed, she just needed to know. The stakes where higher then ever before.

"I thought I knew but I was wrong." Alison admitted with some guilt being heard in her voice. "I am sorry, Em." Alison licked her lips slowly as she slightly tightened her hold on Emily's pinky with her own. "You can't tell anyone that we have met up here today, not even the other girls. They can't know Em. Some of them have secrets of their own... I don't know if I can trust them like you."

Emily nodded her head before she looked away from Alison and into the woods, she understood a little what Alison had been saying. Since they knew Alison had been alive, strange things had been happening and some clues had pointed to Alison being A but Emily refused to believe that. If she was A then why the hell could she see fear on Alison's face as she spoke about. This was just A trying to frame someone again and everybody who was involved with A knew damn well how good he or she was at it.

Still there was one thing bothering Emily about what Alison had said and so turned her face again to look at Alison. "What do you mean with they have secrets of their own? What secrets could they have that could harm you?" Alison took in a breath before she stood up and looked out into the distance, trying to be careful with her next words. "I can't tell you Em but please one of you is closer to the one working for A then you know. That's why nobody can know about this. It's our secret."

"Our secret." Emily repeated softly under her breath as she stood up beside Alison. "I missed you Ali.. I will do whatever I can to make sure you can come back home again." As soon as Alison had heard the words, she slipped her hand into Emily's and gave it a squeeze. "I missed you too Em... I know you will..." Alison spoke as she turned to face Emily and slowly leaned in close to her ear and whispered. "Because deep down you know I am still you're favorite too." Alison placed a soft kiss on her earlobe before pulling back with an almost seductive smile.

"I have to go now." Alison spoken with some regret to her voice as she dropped Emily's hand and started to walk away, leaving Emily speechless. Alison turned around one last time as she made eye contact with the brunette and a killer smile on her face. "I wonder Paige is still so competitive." It where the last words spoken between them before Alison disappeared out of sight and Emily just stood there dumbfounded as she watched her first love disappear.

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**Liked it? Then please leave a review, there is nothing else that keeps me motivated to write and I admit, I am kinda lazy when it comes to this stuff.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much guys for the reviews, it actually made me update much sooner then expected.**

**Enjoy.**

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Emily let out a deep sigh as she sat at the table in the cafeteria with the other three liars, they where rambling away about Alison and her possibly even being A. Emily couldn't believe they where still even considering the possibility of Alison being the big A, it was just an insane theory even if A made it seem possible. Her friends going on and on about it was slowly making Emily more and more angry and when Spencer nudged her softly because she once again had drifted of to her meeting a few days ago with Alison. "Em, don't you care anymore? Alison could be A.. do you even know what that means.. she was our friend or maybe the biggest bitch in the universe."

This was insanity, Spencer always had been extremely rude when she suspected someone of being A and this was not going to be an exception, Emily stood up and turned to Spencer, placing her hand near Spencer on the table as she leaned down slightly to look her directly in the eye, making sure that she was showing Spencer she was the dominant one right now. "Says the girl who suspected entire Rosewood and never for a second thought that Mona could be A... but then again your skills must have improved since you where on the A-Team. I am not going to follow all of you around, looking in the wrong places and accusing my best friend of trying to kill us all. When she was the one who got buried alive!"

"Keep your voice down Em!" Spencer hissed as Hanna and Aria watched the two with a worried look on their faces. Emily shook her head as she grabbed her bag and stood tall, looking almost down on Spencer. "No I am not listening to you anymore. I am done!" Emily exclaimed before looking at Aria and Hanna with an almost blank face before she walked out of the cafeteria as she heard Spencer call out to her from the table she was sitting at only a few minutes ago.

Emily placed her books in her locked before looking on her phone to see the time, she still had four classes left but she really wasn't feeling like spending an another minute at school especially not since she had French with Spencer. 'Screw you Spencer' Emily thought as she slammed her locker closed hard while she was unaware of the person standing behind her. As Emily turned around she nearly bumped into her nervous looking girlfriend. "Wow.. uhm.. is this a bad time? It kind of looks like a bad time.." Paige spoken nervously, she was being all awkward again like she used to be before they had gotten together.

They had not communicated since the night they had the fight since neither had made an attempt too and even though Emily knew Paige had wanted too, she just couldn't face her yet. Paige was going to have many questions she just couldn't answer or didn't want to answer but yet she knew she couldn't avoid Paige forever. "It is. So I am going to go and if you want to talk you can come with me or I'll see you after school." Emily stated but not quite sure why she did that, she didn't even know what she was going to say to Paige and so Emily started to walk down the hall. "Your skipping school?" Paige questioned as she jogged up to Emily and walked beside her. "Yeah.. I don't feel like being here any longer today."

Paige and Emily had been walking past twenty minutes in silence, only a few words spoken between them as they ordered some coffee to go. Paige looked around at the surroundings before making a gesture to sit down on the bench in the park. "So... about the other night... that message. I know I was out of line and didn't respect your privacy and I am sorry about that Em but I don't know. You seemed fine till last week and suddenly you started acting different and not just that night. I have seen you and you seem kind of out of it. Did something happen? Are you sure that is Alison you meant last night?" Paige spoken, obviously she was going trough an emotional roller coaster at that moment, Paige didn't want for it to be true, she didn't even want the answers but she needed them.

Emily let out a soft sigh as she ran her hand trough her hair and looked at Paige, giving her a little sad smile. "It has been Alison that was on my mind... I found something out, something about Alison and I don't know what to do with it. I don't even know if A knows this, or maybe A knows and that is why I have been A's favorite when it came to alive or death games A likes to play ones in a while.. god this is sounding allot worse then it is." Emily took a sip of her coffee while Paige was looking at her with fear. "Alive or death games?! What are you talking about Em? And what could you know about Alison that A wants.. she is dead for fucks sake. " Emily shook her head as she looked at Paige. "Nothing... just nothing.. Paige I can't tell you about these things. The less you know the safer you are Paige."

"I Don't need your protection Emily. I need you to trust me!." At this point Paige was almost pleading Emily to tell what exactly had been going on with her. "Just like with Nate right.. or Landon or who ever he really was." Emily licked her lips slowly as she turned her body so she could fully face Paige and took her girlfriends hands in her own. "I am sorry but the stakes are higher then ever right now, I can't afford to mess up or worry about you as well because I brought you in danger for telling you too much." Paige looked down at their joined hands and despite she knew should at least feel a little better right now, it didn't. There was still one question that wasn't answered, the most important one. "What do you know about Alison?" Paige asked this time more firm.

Emily took in a breath as she let go of Paige's hands and leaned back against the bench, a million thought running trough her mind in how she could possibly answer this the right way. "Alison... Ali she might of had some feelings too.. for me that is. She had been hinting at it.. but it might just be Alison teasing me again or trying to get something out of it, one way or the other. I just don't know and it messes with my head." Paige slowly nodded her head as silent tears where falling down her cheeks that went unnoticed by Emily till she looked at her girlfriend. "Paige..." Emily spoke softly as she reached out for her but was rejected by Paige who gently shoved her hand away. "No Em.. I guess you really won't be happy with anyone till you find an another Alison and I don't even understand why out of all people you fell in love with the biggest bitch of Rosewood." There was clearly some venom in Paige's voice when she spoken her best friends name but she understood that it was the moment. "I am so so sorry Paige.. I love you and I never intended for this to go this way." Paige just nodded as she stood up and looked at Emily one last time. ""I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, to commit to me. I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT...Goodbye."

As soon as Paige, her now ex-girlfriend had left Emily heard her phone go off. It was a text message from an unknown number, something Emily really wasn't in the mood for right now. She might not be in love with Paige anymore but she still loved her and this break up was still painful. Emily opened the message. "Nice speech Em. I am sure Ali loved it too. -A" Emily looked around her quickly but didn't see anyone who she had been suspicious of till her eyes fell on a red coat and started the pursuit. '_This better be Alison'. _

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**Enjoyed it? Then leave a review. The more reviews, the faster the updates. Next chapter is an Emison confrontation. **


	4. Chapter 4

**I am sorry that this chapter took longer then usual but it has been a busy weekend.**

**Hopefully the next update won't take me this long.**

**Enjoy.**

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A couple of streets, dirty back ally's and a few abandon buildings further. Emily finally arrived to where red coat had been leading her to, where Alison had been leading her too but when she stood in the dirty back ally there was nothing to be seen except for a door that was slightly cracked open.

Emily entered the dark building as she looked around her, it was dark and there was only a slight flicker of a light above her head made it possible for her to see only the slightest as she walked to the middle of the room when suddenly she heard the door slam shut behind her.

"Alison?" Emily questioned softly as she turned around quickly to where the noise was coming from. The brunette was getting slightly anxious as she did not hear anything but soft footsteps and a dark figure was slowly approaching her. "Alison?" Emily tried again when the dark figure walked past her, confusing Emily.

Emily closed her eyes as the bright lights from the lamps suddenly turned on and squinted her eyes a little to the see Alison approaching her with a tiny smile on her face yet she still her face showed compassion with the next few words spoken. "Turns out Paige isn't all that competitive anymore, is she?" Alison spoken as she tossed her red coat on an old chair.

Emily crossed her arms over her chest as she looked at Alison, trying her hardest not to bite down on her lower lip, knowing that Alison knew what had taken place, even if she hadn't heard their conversation it made Emily feel exposed and maybe a little bit shy. Alison observed Emily for a moment before taking a step closer to her best friend and continued to speak. "I am sorry you know? I don't want to see you hurt but let's face it..." Alison said as raised her hand up and traced her fingertips along Emily's cheek and down her neck before resting her hand on the side of Emily's neck, keeping her close. "...She wasn't going to make you happy. A single look of her, wasn't making you smile nor did each and every kiss make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside... or am I wrong?"

As Emily finally looked up to meet Alison's eyes, she could see so much in them.. things she never thought she would see coming from Alison, not like this and not in the moment Alison had created for them. There was hope in Alison's eyes and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on yet. "No... I just tried to feel that way again." Emily spoken as the tension in the room quickly had risen with those few words.

"You do know you can feel that way again, don't you?" Alison slowly brought the hand the was resting on the side on Emily's neck to the back of her neck as her other hand was placed firmly on Emily's waist and pulled her closer. "Just kiss me."

Emily couldn't believe she was hearing these words coming from Alison's lips, Alison wanted her to kiss her and as much as Emily wanted too there was still some doubt in her mind. Emily wanted this to be real and genuine, she needed to be certain of that before she would allow all these feelings she had been feeling lately to freely run through her, knowing it would only make her a love sick puppy for Alison.

It was like Alison was able to hear her thoughts or so it seemed when Alison only pulled her closer and looked into her eyes with nothing but love. "I want you." And with that Emily leaned in to meet Alison's lips half way in a gentle yet sensual kiss, their lips slowly moving in rhythm together as their eyes shut gently. Everything around them seemed to disappear and it was only just them left.

The kiss started slow and gentle but soon their longing they had for another got the better of them as their kiss was starting to become heated. Emily's arms that found their way around Alison's waist was now pulling the blonde flush against her before her hands started to wander down to Alison's lower back, her fingertips coming in contact with the bare skin between Alison's jeans and top while Alison's hands moved down Emily's back only trying to pull her tighter against herself as if it was possible and tongues started to battle for dominance.

Emily let out a soft moan as she felt Alison's tongue play with her own that resulted in Alison pushing more against Emily and actually making the brunette take a step back, their breathing had gone out of control and Emily found herself being pushed against the wall as Alison pressed her body against Emily's.

Emily's hands had slipped under Alison's shirt and traveled up her back before raking her nails down her soft smooth skin as Alison hand had cupped her breast and gave it a squeeze before her hand disappeared under Emily's shirt and moved up her flat stomach, resulting in Emily grabbing Alison's ass while she trusted her hips against Alison's, both moaning in each others mouths at the friction.

Alison was the first one to break their kiss that resulted in a disappointing groan coming from Emily before rested her forehand against Emily as she placed both her hands on Emily's hips while both of them tried to catch their breaths from the intense moment they had just shared. "Damn..." Emily breathed out as her hands traveled up to Alison's lower back again and moved her arms around her waist again. "Still doubting my interest in you?." Alison smiled as she moved a strand of hair behind Emily's ear.

A shy smile broke out on Emily's face as she softly shook her head before looking back at Alison. "No, no doubts anymore." Alison slowly nodded her head as the smile on her face grew a little bit. "Then all is good." Alison placed a peck on Emily's lips before putting more distance between them but wasn't ready to completely lose contact with her yet and so took a hold of her hand.

"Ali why where you at the park?" Emily soon questioned as she gave Alison's hand a squeeze to let her know that it was alright despite the fact that it could be perceived as a little creepy. "I was following you, I needed to speak with you and with A hot on our tail.. you going of alone would directly lead you to me." Emily licked her lips slowly as she glanced at the door for a moment, feeling a little anxious but more so she felt angry that A could to this to the person she was in love with or maybe still was.

"A knew you where at the park too.. you really need to be more careful.. we all do Ali." Alison nodded her head as she looked at Emily and pulled her a little closer by the hand she was holding a slowly a grin started to form on her lips and a glint in her eyes was shown "We do.. but it was so worth it." Alison admitted as she referred to their earlier make out session that if Alison had not stopped probably would of lead to more. "And I think that pretty much makes me your girlfriend."

Emily couldn't help but chuckle softly at Alison and pulled her close again, her hand behind Alison's neck as she kissed her tenderly while smiling softly into the kiss "Still confident much Ali?" Alison just shrugged her shoulders as she looked at her new girlfriend. "Says the one who keeps kissing me." Emily shook her head in amusement before Alison kissed her cheek and grabbed the red coat from the ground. "I have some information on A, come' on let's go see the rest of the girls so we can deal with this bitch... and I can take you out on a real date. " Alison turned around with a killer smile on her face as she winked at Emily and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers as they left the building.

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did then do review. **

**Also I wanted to ask you guys who you wanted A to be... I have some ideas myself who I'd like the big A to be but I also want to know what you guys would like. **


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